{"id":11592,"date":"2025-09-09T07:00:00","date_gmt":"2025-09-09T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/?p=11592"},"modified":"2025-09-10T07:31:41","modified_gmt":"2025-09-10T11:31:41","slug":"every-words-a-choice-part-6-more-on-modifiers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/?p=11592","title":{"rendered":"Every Word’s a Choice: Part 6 — More on Modifiers"},"content":{"rendered":"
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In the last post of this series, the emphasis was on modifiers, adjectives specifically. It talked about three keys to choosing a adjectives that will help your readers create the story picture you want to paint: they must be significant<\/em>, sensory details<\/em> are powerful, avoid overload<\/em>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are a few more attributes of adjectives to be alert to.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Precision<\/em><\/strong>
Some adjectives are so overused and vague they\u2019ve become meaningless. What does it mean when you read that someone received \u201ca big check\u201d or \u201ca little diamond,\u201d that a new co-worker is pretty or beautiful or handsome? These judgments totally depend on the reader\u2019s perspective and provide remarkably little information. They\u2019ve become empty calories on the adjective buffet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You might think it\u2019s descriptive to say a dress is blue. But how many shades of blue are there? A website for designers shows 144. How descriptive is it, really, to say \u201cblue\u201d? Or green? There are 50 of them above. How different are Army green (maybe you\u2019d choose it for the clothes of an ex-military character), fungal green (for a house in disrepair), Kelly green (for a patriotic Irishman), or teal (for a fashionista)?<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point is to make your descriptions as vivid as possible, which may mean going beyond the first adjective that comes to mind.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Surroundings <\/em><\/strong>
You know the old saying, \u201cclothes make the man.\u201d How you describe what characters wear, their living accommodations, their cars, the foods they eat<\/a>\u2014all should be selected based on who they are<\/em>. A Buick is an American car manufactured by General Motors, as we all know. But if you write that your character is a Buick owner or a Lamborghini owner, your readers will surmise more about him than that he has a vehicle to get around in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

In other words, as in our discussion of verbs, the descriptive words you use have not only a literal, everyday<\/em> meaning, they also carry connotations<\/em>. If you say your protagonist is a Harvard graduate, that\u2019s different than sending him to Michigan or Baylor. Different schools convey different impressions about the graduate, his family, his connections, and his attainments beyond the seal on the diploma. Make these choices mindfully.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Cliches<\/em><\/strong>
A word of caution: You don\u2019t want to describe a character by drawing on all the clich\u00e9s of status, high or low. People are more complicated than that, and such descriptions don\u2019t ring true. I\u2019ve received dozens of Facebook friend requests\u2014you probably have too\u2014from \u201cretired Navy Seals\u201d who live in Hawai`i, whose photos include friendly-looking dogs and adoring grandkids. And, oh, they\u2019re all widowers. And handsome! Lucky me! These are clich\u00e9s meant to make the guy seem manly, upstanding, and really OK. They make me laugh.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Once you settle on which details you need, you also have to find a fresh way to express them, avoiding clich\u00e9s and overused phrases. Publishers don\u2019t like them. Readers roll their eyes. Five years from now, your text may seem dated. Some clich\u00e9s are so common, they can slip into our prose without our even noticing them. It takes a good ear to tune them in. One I read frequently is: \u201cShe let out the breath she didn\u2019t know she was holding.\u201d Have read this a dozen times, most recently last week (in Yellowface<\/em>), where it was used to demonstrate use of a clich\u00e9–an archetype of the trite. How do you know what\u2019s tired and what\u2019s fresh? This is one more reason writers have to READ.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Here are two descriptions, one of a city scene, the other of two sisters. These are the kinds of topics authors write about every day. They can be banal. But these authors dug in and their descriptions are memorable.
\u201cWe stopped in the shadows of decrepit wooden structures leaning toward one another over the cobbled pavement as though telling secrets.\u201d(The Railway Conspiracy<\/em>, SJ Rozan and John Shen Yen Nee)
\u201cMandy\u2019s clothes are smooth and sharp, Tia\u2019s are rumpled and faded. Mandy\u2019s hair is always pulled back. Tia\u2019s is a mess of tangles. In short, Mandy is pressed. Tia is line dried.\u201d(The Final Episode<\/em>, Lori Roy)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dialog is Different<\/em><\/strong>
As always, dialog is different than narrative<\/strong>. Trite phrases you wouldn\u2019t consider including in your narration may be perfectly acceptable in dialog. In fact, I\u2019ve read stories in which a character speaks almost exclusively in clich\u00e9s. It says a lot about them, too. It\u2019s as if they only know what someone else has told them\u2014or have absorbed only tired, worn-out ideas. Author J.P. Rieger has created a wily Baltimore police detective who spouts business jargon whenever he doesn\u2019t want his bosses to know what he\u2019s up to. It\u2019s meaningless\u2014and hilarious\u2014but it reassures the bosses every time. (A recent review of the new biography of Elmore Leonard talks about his stellar dialog: https:\/\/www.newyorker.com\/magazine\/2025\/07\/07\/elmore-leonards-perfect-pitch<\/a> .)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Next Installment: Part 7: Word Order Mayhem (A family emergency has slowed the posting of these articles. Expect Part 7 in early October.)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Find past articles in this series in the Writer’s First Draft tab on the home page.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In the last post of this series, the emphasis was on modifiers, adjectives specifically. It talked about three keys to choosing a adjectives that will help your readers create the story picture you want to paint: they must be significant, … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[174,51,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-11592","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-draft-blog","category-words","category-writing"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2NkiT-30Y","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11592","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=11592"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11592\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":11599,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/11592\/revisions\/11599"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=11592"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=11592"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=11592"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}