{"id":6392,"date":"2017-02-22T08:11:38","date_gmt":"2017-02-22T13:11:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/?p=6392"},"modified":"2017-02-22T08:11:38","modified_gmt":"2017-02-22T13:11:38","slug":"why-crimethrillermystery-novels-fall-short-part-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/?p=6392","title":{"rendered":"Why Crime\/Thriller\/Mystery Novels Fall Short: Part 2"},"content":{"rendered":"<div id=\"attachment_1645\" style=\"width: 314px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-1645\" class=\" wp-image-1645\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/vweisfeld.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/10\/4180894127_70625f7d25_o_converted.jpg?resize=304%2C204\" alt=\"red pencil, grammar, comma\" width=\"304\" height=\"204\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-1645\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">photo: Martijn Nijenhuls, Creative Commons license<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Authors of crime\/thriller\/mystery novel have to keep track of a lot. They must develop those pesky clues, forge a logic chain with no missing links, and avoid too-convenient coincidences. They must convey everything readers need to know without actually giving the punch line away or making it irritatingly obvious information is being withheld. No wonder early drafts of a book can be full of problems!<\/p>\n<p>Yesterday, I wrote about some of the common plot and character pitfalls (<a href=\"http:\/\/www.vweisfeld.com\/?p=6390\">the \u201cthinking\u201d pitfalls<\/a>) I find in the dozens of crime\/thriller\/mystery novels\u00a0 I review each year. This post concentrates on typical problems found in the actual writing.<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #800000;\"><strong>Writing Pitfalls (the Biggest Ones)<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Clich\u00e9s in language and gesture \u2013 at least <em>five chapters<\/em> in a recently-read thriller ended with a character setting his\/her mouth\/jaw in a firm line. Using a clich\u00e9 to express a thought is a writer\u2019s shortcut. While certain characters may <em>speak<\/em> in clich\u00e9s, if that\u2019s their thing, narratives should struggle for freshness. That helps characters and settings feel unique, not like cardboard cutouts.<\/li>\n<li>Unartful explanations\u2014Readers often need background information\u2014about politics, finance, weapons, a character\u2019s training, whatever\u2014but indigestible chunks of it that read like a resume or briefing paper feel amateurish. \u201cTell me about yourself, Mr. Smith,\u201d is hardly better.<\/li>\n<li>Over-explaining \u2013 Example: A Chinese scientist who\u2019s volunteered to become a CIA source explains to an agent how his country\u2019s government has hurt \u201cmany people who deserve better,\u201d including his father. The agent immediately thinks, \u201cHis motivation appeared to be revenge for his father\u2019s mistreatment at the hands of the Chinese government.\u201d Duh. Then, in case the reader doesn\u2019t get it yet, the author continues with what is actually a very good way of underscoring the point (good because it adds <em>new information<\/em>, the agent\u2019s judgment): \u201cHe\u2019d take revenge as a motivator any day\u201d and explains why. This would have been just fine if that clunky over-explanation were edited out.<\/li>\n<li>Mixed or inept metaphors \u2013 Example: \u201cTrying to learn the ropes had XX feeling like a fish out of water.\u201d I can\u2019t picture that at all. Can you? Here\u2019s a simple, effective one: \u201cOut of [his police] uniform he just looked like an impatient kid waiting for his father.\u201d I see this clearly.<\/li>\n<li>Ending each chapter with a cheesy cliffhanger. Example: \u201cMy God! XX thought. The Americans will never know what hit them.\u201d Actually, in this book, they will. Here\u2019s a better one: \u201cShe closes her book and shuts her eyes to look up at the sun, unaware of her two observers.\u201d Menacing, not manipulative.<\/li>\n<li>General sloppiness \u2013 I\u2019ve said enough about typos in my book reviews. They suggest a lack of care. Here is other evidence of it: homonym problems (hoard instead of horde, rein instead of reign, desert instead of dessert, and on and on); changing the name of a person or place, but not catching all the uses of the original name (\u201cfind and replace,\u201d please); and of course, distracting factual errors.<\/li>\n<li>Lack of support matter \u2013 OK, maybe I\u2019m crazy, but I believe quite a few thrillers would be improved by the inclusion of tailored supporting material. For example, maps that show the principal places mentioned in the novel (I admit to a pro-map bias here), lists of acronyms and abbreviations, especially for novels involving multiple international agencies, lists of characters and how they fit into the story, and so on. The goal should be to bring readers <em>in<\/em> to the circle of cognoscenti, not shut them out.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Working out the plot of a story and developing the characters involved are completely different tasks than effectively writing the whole thing down, and rushing into print rarely serves the material\u2014or the reader\u2014well. I hate to see a good plot ruined by weak presentation!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Authors of crime\/thriller\/mystery novel have to keep track of a lot. They must develop those pesky clues, forge a logic chain with no missing links, and avoid too-convenient coincidences. They must convey everything readers need to know without actually giving &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/?p=6392\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Why Crime\/Thriller\/Mystery Novels Fall Short: Part 2 - a great plot can be foiled by poor writing","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[174,29],"tags":[31,30,28],"class_list":["post-6392","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-first-draft-blog","category-writing","tag-author","tag-novel","tag-writers"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2NkiT-1F6","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6392","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=6392"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6392\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6393,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6392\/revisions\/6393"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=6392"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=6392"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/vweisfeld.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=6392"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}