“Adverbs are the tool of the lazy writer.”                                                                        Mark Twain

“The road to hell is paved with adverbs.” 
Stephen King            

The liberal use of adverbs, the telltale “-ly” words, especially has drifted out of fashion, in favor of more direct prose. It’s obvious what King and Twain thought of them. The death knell may have come some decades ago with the Tom Swifty. You may remember these awful puns: “I’ll have a martini,” Tom said drily. Or “I know who turned off the lights,” Tom said darkly. Or “I always eat at McDonald’s,” Tom said archly. At the height of their popularity, it was hard to hear an -ly adverb without thinking of the line that could introduce it, she wrote promptly. An occasional adverb, like an occasional pun is fine, it’s overuse that you want to avoid.

Many times, you can avoid the adverb problem by selecting a more robust verb, as in these pairs of examples. The first uses an adverb, the second a more colorful verb.

“Get off your duff and bring me that report,” the captain said angrily.
“Get off your duff and bring me that report,” the captain growled.

“Come over here and sit by me,” she said flirtatiously.
“Come over here and sit by me,” she flirted.

Which approach you use depends on your writing style and voice, but if you find yourself falling back on them to make your meaning clear, give your verbs a hard look.

Order, Please!

The previous post in this series talked about the little known yet widely followed English-language rule about the order in which adjectives are presented. Where to put adverbs in a sentence is a little trickier. Their position is less fixed. Adverbs are usually but not always put near the verb (or before the adjective) they modify.

For example, in these sentences, the adverbs barely, terribly, and wildly modify—that is, they change and in this case make more precise or intensify—the adjectives “plausible, hot, and inappropriate.”

Barely plausible alibi
Terribly hot day
Wildly inappropriate behavior

Careful placement of adverbs avoids vagueness in your writing. Some modifiers—“only” and “just” are prime examples—can function as either adverbs or adjectives and, as adverbs, they are often rather haphazardly placed. Keep in mind that they are modifiers, and need to be near whatever they are modifying. When you change their position, the literal meaning of your sentences actually slightly shifts. To avoid ambiguity, these words must be in the position that most accurately conveys your intention. You know what you mean, so you have to be extra-conscious of what you’re actually saying. It’s a habit worth developing.

A careful writer pays attention to these tiny differences in meaning. Here’s another example where moving the adverb affects the meaning

“Heck, I don’t even know the backstory.” (It’s a mystery to me)
“Heck, even I don’t know the backstory.” (And I’m usually in-the-know)
“Heck, I don’t know even the backstory.” (And there’s so much more to it)

The emphasis in the first version is on know. In the second example, the emphasis is on I, and in the third example, it’s on backstory.

“Just” And “Only” Trip Everyone Up

Sometimes placement is critical. Here’s an example from a literary magazine request for submissions (and tut-tut to them):

“We are only open in March for underrepresented voices; the window for general submissions (from all writers) is closed.”

What the editors probably mean is that they want submissions from authors who are members of underrepresented groups and no one else in March, but what they are saying is that those groups are welcome to submit in March and not at other times. The sentence probably should have read:

“We are open in March only for underrepresented voices; the window for general submissions (from all writers) is closed.”

More examples. Note the differences. What the sentence is implying is in italics.

She watched to make sure he only delivered the salad (and didn’t spill it in the customer’s lap or make disparaging comments about it. He only delivered it.).
He just wanted her to pay the check (not lecture him about his love life)

In conversation, this last kind of construction is used when the speaker is sort of apologetic about the ask. Kind of a “Gee I didn’t think this would be such a big deal. All I wanted was for her to pick up the check.” But it is ambiguous when we are reading and not hearing the speaker’s tone of voice.

What is the proper place for “only”  in this sentence? “I believed he was innocent of the burglary.”

Ahhh. Trick question. You cannot answer it unless you know what the sentence is intended to mean. Think about the differences:

Only I believed Jake was innocent of the burglary (everyone else believed he was guilty)
I only believed Jake was innocent of the burglary (I couldn’t prove it)
I believed only Jake was innocent of the burglary (and the rest were guilty)
I believed Jake was only innocent of the burglary (but not the b&e)

While a few of the differences in meaning might appear a bit subtle, and while you may think they don’t much matter, rest assured, they matter a great deal to Jake.

Part 9: Have some style!

For previous posts in this series, check the “Writers’ First Draft” tab on my website home page: www.vweisfeld.com.